Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Starving

If I'm walking funny it's because the IRS just fist-fucked me up the ass. Geez! I'm earning a very decent income now, but tax season really got me. It goes to show that every silver lining has a sea of dark clouds attached to it.

I may go back to being poor just to receive a tax refund instead of paying. The lesson here is that I need to be more careful with my earnings. Now I know what to expect next year.

For now, it's back to eating cup-o-noodles for a while.



***

It has been over eighty days since I have been with a woman. This is good news for a sex addict like myself. The thing is...

I had a near-miss the other night with a woman who could end up being my girlfriend. No dice. I kept thinking about she-who-must-not-be-named, the ANA woman who is my Josephine. It wouldn't go up at all. That goes to show that women can cock-block a fellow even from a remote distance.

Sigh...

This is an unusual situation for me. The universe is giving me more opportunities than ever to create a lasting relationship with a woman and yet, it's all falling apart. Remember I said that I didn't want to mess with women this year to focus on my work? Ha. Ha!

The universe, Fortuna, Lady Luck, God, Fate, Chaos (call this entity whatever you like) had other ideas.

I don't understand it.




***

That ends our weekly installment of "Days of My Sexless Life." Now that I got that drama out of the way, I can talk about fiction. The really ridiculous good news is that the drama, the episodes of my current life, all make their way to my fiction.

In the past few months I have gotten more ideas for the LAX story from direct experiences than for any other story. It bothers me to an extent to put so much of myself in a book. But that's the point, right?

Putting yourself on the page involves more than fictionalizing the events of your life. A writer has to find their voice and be proud of it when he/she does.

For example, my fictional voice doesn't sound like Cormac McCarthy and not like John Steinbeck. No matter what I do, I don't sound like them. That's okay, though.

The other night, while working on The Sprite, I read over a passage that I had altered a little. I liked it because it had my voice in it, where before it was bland. Before, I was trying to write in a certain way that never succeeded because I wasn't into it.

It's helping me write the LAX story. My progress this month has slowed, but I expected that since I'm giving my attention to other projects (and since I now have to work a few extra days to help pay my tax debt!).




LC