Saturday, August 8, 2015

By the numbers...

Mr. Clifton, one of my English teachers in high school, once gave us a piece of wisdom that applies to any writer trying to get the attention of agents or publishers:

If you throw enough shit on a wall, some of it will stick.

And when you think about it, this is the philosophy of life.


Okay, the last two weeks of June sucked. July sucked even worse. I didn't get much done and I'm behind on most projects except the LAX story. I'm almost ready to show that to people. I have a working draft now and will be good to go in a week or so...

As such, I will need to write other things for it. One is a query letter; another is a succinct synopsis. Also, I will shine the first few chapters before shinning the others.

Project 1:
100,000+ words

Find 100 literary agents / publishing houses
Goal: Get at least ten percent positive replies
Reality: 100??? I'm likely going to send to ten at first and then improve my query letter when all ten send form rejection letters...

Project 2:
hopefully 50,000 - 60,000 words by August
For younger folk and even adults

Find 100 literary agents / publishing houses
Goal: Get at least ten percent positive replies
Reality: I need to finish this first...

Well, query letters are tons of fun, as are synopses. Many a writer has gone mad writing those. I at least get to amuse myself with that. That was a joke. I don't get to have any fun.

The philosophy here is to throw enough of my shit out there to see if any will stick.


So, I haven't been on here for a while. If we go by the numbers, I can tell you why.

#1 Cystoscopy

I am likely not dying. That was a joke. We're all dying. But my doctors decided that I shouldn't die as fast as say, someone with a terminal disease. To accomplish this feat, they asked me if they could perform this procedure.

From what I've heard, it feels as pleasant as the image below makes it...

Naturally, as soon as I saw images of it, I asked around. No. I'm not having that done. Sure, it could help solve a few medical mysteries about me, but I'm not going to go through with it.

As you can expect, this depressed me greatly. I don't want something inserted in there and I also don't want to avoid KNOWING. But, that's part of the greater mystery of life. I don't have to know everything.

Thankfully, my other health problems distracted me. It turns out I had cavities and the dentist had to fill them.

For those of you too lucky to not know, this is what it looks like:

That device is a drill... The patient's mouth is open to allow the dentist to work (and to make it easier for you to scream).

Getting cavities filled is no fun at all, but now that they are done I can focus on work. And try to catch up.



The first week of August was productive. I have that going for me. This coming week, I hope to work on queries.

If I work fast enough, I can have something to show the Southern California Writer's Conference.

What was it Vonnegut said repeatedly in Slaughter House Five?

So it goes...

(It's funnier when he says it in the novel after some disaster...)