Saturday, January 30, 2016

The Hermit

In 1996, I was deployed to Bosnia and Herzegovina on a peace-keeping mission. It was a cold year as the Balkans have ridiculously strong winters. The novelty of snow wore off quickly; that happens when you have to sleep in a tent without showers for a couple of months.

It was a difficult year full of isolation, but not without its rewards.

That was the year I turned 20. The friends I made during that deployment would stay with me the remainder of my military career. Also, I was deployed somewhere! I was halfway across the world, getting to know about a place that I never thought I would see. My personal philosophy on tourism isn't very positive: I don't like being a tourist.

But living among Europeans in their torn was like I had gone back home to El Salvador.

An image from El Savador during the civil war

An image from Bosnia during the civil war

Of course, you have to understand that the isolation is unimaginable now. These days, soldiers have access to social media while deployed. We did not. The internet was there in 1996, but it was in its infancy. I actually had a pen pal, a girl from the Midwest, who I wrote to regularly. Letters and packages from home were a welcome delight.

Waking up daily to go to work and nothing more is an experience unlike any I have had since.


I think I am in the beginning of a similar period. My social life is non-existent right now. And thanks to certain family members, I am in debt instead of surplus. Yup. Family can screw you and steal your identity to open accounts, which they later max out before you find them out...

So, I'll be paying that off this year and will likely spend the first half of the year to accomplish it. But it will get done.

That means I have to give up certain amenities and trips. I can't go to Starbucks as often. I won't be able to go to conventions until the end of the year.

And dating? Right...

This is all for the best, I suppose. It popped the enthusiasm bubble that grew after I finished the LAX story. That was necessary for me to write. Being a hermit will hopefully help me focus on the difficult road to becoming a published author of fiction.

My goals for the first half of the year are, therefore:

1) Refine the short stories completed.

2) Refine and complete the short stories drafted (that I want to refine and complete)

3) Draft the three short stories that I want to draft.

4) Draft the screenplay I want to draft.

5) Let friendship find me, don't seek it out.

6) Stop using women for sex.

7) Let my imagination create fictions, not fantasies.


Tuesday, January 12, 2016

Almost sad to see it go...

And here we are in January of 2016. I am 40 years old. Last month, my thirties ended. Ha! Almost sad to see them go. Almost... I was as much a prisoner then as in my 20s. At least I was in the army and having fun with friends.

This should be December of 2011. Yet, if I hadn't made the mistakes I made in the last five years, I never would have experienced the things I did, nor met the people I met (including my Josephine). I don't regret a thing...except the, "I'm getting older," thing. That can't be helped though. Mostly.

This was spray painted outside the library I work at...


So, I got rid of the Goodreads account I had under Louis Corsair. It's curious how difficult it is to erase something from the www. I won't be rid of it completely, I don't think. There will be residue.

I also took The Quantum of the Past and all its parts off sale. It had to happen, but now that it's done I'm almost sad to see it go. Almost. As any writer knows, projects don't fail, their parts simply get recycled into newer projects. The same thing will happen to Absolution. Very soon.

It won't happen right away. Not yet. This process takes baby steps, like detox. I thought things would be so sudden, devastating. But that is just part of the fantasy world I built. The here and now requires slow change.

The awkward thing is that Amazon and all the other retailers will keep the postings open so that others who have bought my books can resell them. How that will happen with ebooks is beyond me...



The writing...

It's a struggle to revise and refine the stories I wrote years ago. But in January, the goal is to have them ready, along with the other long project.

On a good day, I can read two of my stories.

I need discipline. That is humorous.

Hey, at least I'm laughing about it.




My new year's resolution is to work on these:

1) Let my imagination create fictions, not fantasies.
2) Write the fiction that challenges my creativity.

3) Let go of the things that truly don't matter.

Saturday, November 21, 2015

The yellow-brick road of rejection...revisited

Oh, don't be fooled by the title of this post. If you're a writer, then you know all about this: Rejection. I don't mean being rejected by women... Yes, I know the old adage: Rejection comes with the pair.

I am now entering a period where I will submit not just the LAX story, but also The Sprite (if I can ever get it right), and shorter pieces and even a screenplay (or two).

What I can expect is a lot of rejection. I mean, I'm going to get clubbed from every direction by agents, publishers, and little old me. This is not an easy profession I'm in.

Ironically, I've been here before. This is the summer of 2010 all over again. Except it's Fall now and that miserable heat is done (for now).

I had finished a longer project, an Urban Fantasy thing, and was looking to sell it. Just before that, I finished a different project that was part of a series. I had shorter pieces of fiction that I wanted to shop around. I had sent in a few pieces already and a few were rejected but with really nice compliments from the editors. I had but to keep writing and keep sending things in.

Back then, I despaired. My knees buckled. I couldn't deal with the rejection. Mind you, it wasn't that every publishing professional rejected me; I never got that far. It was only a few. That was enough to get through my thin armor and put me down.

That's when I discovered self-publishing and tested this thing with one of my Urban Fantasy projects, publishing it under the guise of Louis Corsair.


Before I completely demolish the Tower, it will cost me that mask. I will miss Louis Corsair. Well, no. Not really. I already got rid of the Facebook and Goodreads account. I don't miss them.


But, enough of that. I am here in 2015 and am dusting off my old projects. I'm putting myself out there again. I feel like an old maid trying her hand at dating online.

I already got a few rejections.

Hooray! I'm off to see the wizard.