Monday, May 25, 2015

Hide your daughters!!!

It has been over 120 days since I've been with a woman.

At this point, all women are looking really, really good. And, what's more, my mental blocks are falling apart; I'm starting to ask out co-workers. Fortunately, the single ones are just blowing me off and the majority of them are married or will be married soon or are in relationships or are busy dating B.O.B.

But as the days progress, I will ask out other co-workers and friends of co-workers. I'm doing my best to sabotage these attempts, but eventually some ladies will say yes...

Alas, my progress will go to shit. If I date any of them, my body will take over and that's that! Smacked out of the wagon and back to ground zero!

I like to think that with meditation and good writing habits, this is a manageable appetite. It's not, though. This is the sort of condition that will get a lot worse before it gets any better.

Luckily, I am very near the end of the LAX story. There are about six chapters left, maybe just five (depending on how I manage the plot). Yesterday night, I stayed up after work to write one of my favorite scenes in the novel--THE scene the entire book has been building to. It's rough still, so I will have to keep at it whenever an idea comes.

And I already have the final chapters. That includes the unique type of ending I wanted for the story. That was no easy doing! But I am confident that I have something that hasn't been tried that often. It's an interactive experience that I hope will give the story a good send-off.


And so, I look forward to June and the rest of the summer and the reading that comes with it. I'm going to finish The Girl on the Train and All the Light We Cannot See and review them both.

During the first two weeks of June I will finish off whatever is left of the LAX story. And during the last two weeks of June I will attack the other project I am currently working on as well as doing a clean-up of Absolution. That will take me at least a month, maybe less since it's mostly expansion work on material that I already have written. That will take me into the middle of July.

The second half of July I want to spend revising Ascension and the first half of August I want to do the same to The Wizards. It will be a first revision for both to get them into a form that is readable at least.

And in August, some time in August, I take a break! No more sex fasting! I'm thinking of a cruise or some other type of Singles vacation for at least a week and then I will come home and spend another week off to plan what's going to happen in the last part of 2015.

Naturally, now that I have my determination back, I have to fight off the demons that come with it. There is the old arrogance monster and the greed monster.

If I can keep my head clear, then I think I have a real shot at something special, real ascension into a place where few of us get to go.

It is still hard to explain to women why I chose the lifestyle I chose. Why don't I have a nice 9 to 5 job? Why not have a career? I already do. I'm hoping it will thrive in the future.


Monday, April 27, 2015

Writer Blocked

It has been over 90 days since I've been with a woman...

I don't know how much longer I'm going to last. All the women around me, single, married, available or not, are starting to look really, really good.

The good news is that I've managed to somehow alienate all the women who would be willing to, you know. This past week has been one cold shoulder after another.


First, let me say that I do not believe I ever get an ailment called "writer's block." There are legitimate medical reasons for me to stop creating when I want to create, but I do not believe there is a specific ailment that targets me.

Or other writers for that matter. It seems like the silliness of writers. Woe is me! I am stricken by the writer's block...

That's sexier than me saying that I want to do something else. The main reason for not writing is procrastination.

Say it with me: I procrastinate.

My Josephine recently posted an article about such a thing; she likes to wander through the website,, and read things there that she later shares on Facebook. It was hilarious to read. Maybe you'll find it funny too.

Article link.

Usually, when I can't seem to put down words on digital paper it's because I want to do something else. Oh, you know... get on Facebook. Research something. Read a book. Get laid. etc. etc.

Right now I'm in this situation. My writing slowed in April. One reason is that I want to open up that other Word document and work on another story; since I'm double-dipping this month. Another reason is that the LAX story is becoming more complex, requiring more time to "think" or develop its chapters. When that happens, my writing slows to give my creativity an opportunity to go to work.

Okay, so all of that is my way of excusing it. What I really think is happening is that I'm sad.

I've had to say goodbye to a good number of people I work with, more than I have in recent memory. They're moving on to other things and leaving the positions they have now.

As you can imagine, trying to write something funny when you're sad is difficult. There is also the sadness that comes from being at a point where you're almost done with a story you like.

It's sad because once I'm done, that will be all the time I get with those characters. I won't see them again unless I write another story with them.

I could read my stories over and over again, but that lacks something. A completed story to me is like an old photo album full of images of people I won't ever see again. It's funny. I can re-read a novel I like and feel like the experiences with those characters is new and they're there for me. But my own work is different.

The stories I write are time capsules almost. They tell me about a period during which I worked on the story and did my best to overcome its challenges. Struggling. Struggling.

Ah, I remember that paragraph! I spent weeks writing and re-writing it. And then I took it apart again when revising! Oh, the good times doing that...


Well, there's a few days left in April and I will work on the LAX story some more. I won't finish, but I'm going to be writing again. I mean, just look at how much I'm writing here this month.

I'm not blocked. I am blocking myself with sadness. But enough of that...

Sadness bores me. 


Monday, April 20, 2015

Sad Puppies and a Sluggish April

The days in April have been sluggish.

There. That's all I wanted to say about that.


I'm not going to draft Verifiable Man this year. The contest I wanted to enter it into will not happen in 2015. I'm sad. That means that other projects will take its place. That's always how it is with this writing thing.

The other night I went to a book release event in San Pedro. It was for a book called A Wailing of a Town. It was hot in there and I felt so out of place that all I did was stare. My hope was to meet some interesting types to write about. It's also my simple pleasure to meet with and speak to other artists to see what they are like and if I fit in with them or not.


Lately, I've been having fun reading about this mess with the Hugo awards for 2015. I remember Brad R. Torgersen from his days when we were both Writers of the Future hopefuls (he was a hopeful, I was just hopeful in general). Now, he has the attention of everyone in the Science Fiction and Fantasy industry. It's an interesting turn in his career.

Oh, I won't bother with the politics of the puppy scandal. There are better (and more invested) men and women already thinking and over-thinking the politics of this thing. And you know me and politics, Bartholomew. They amuse me. My own beliefs are so complex that they go beyond the simple Right wing, Left wing politics of this country. Because of that, I can have fun watching them go at it.

Puppies, puppies everywhere! Look at that one over there. He's got foam in his little mouth! Watch out! And that one over there is sad. I'm a dog person, so seeing a sad puppy makes me sad. Why did they pick puppies? I think iguanas would have been better. An iguana has an excellent poker face. You never know what they're thinking.

But here's what I'm thinking...

I'm actually surprised that no one figured out before now that you could do that with the Hugos (although, the dog people argue that, yeah, there are groups that did).

What was it that Plato said? That a democratic system is "full of variety and disorder"? That applies to this issue. Just what did the people running the Hugos think would happen? That the voters are virtuous and would maintain a fair playing field for all participants? People are people. They take advantage of and exploit the weaknesses of any system when they can. Who cares about the motivations for doing it. Motivations are like assholes. Everyone has one; and on some people, they stink. People will always convince themselves and anyone they can that they are on the moral side of any issue and that their opponents are on the immoral side. It's just human nature to do this.

If anyone cares to "fix" the way Hugos are given out, they should read the Federalist number 10, written by James Madison. It has some interesting ideas on the subject. True, it is written with a system of government in mind, but its philosophies apply to any organization that wishes to use a democratic (pure democratic) ballot to issue awards. They may come up with an electoral college of writers, separate from the popular vote of fans. And maybe there will be a little senate to decide ties. Hopefully, none of the ballots get stuck in the bathroom.

Of course, as soon as they tighten up the rules for the Hugos, its voters will find another way to outsmart them.